Gotcha Day!

We started today thinking it was pretty important, we were to meet our new children. Naturally we were nervous.

Our lawyer, Bruno, met us at 9:00 am or so. We walked down the street quickly to his car as he hadn't paid for parking. :-) He told us we would meet the head of the supervising orphan court today. I was underdressed and didn't have the legal paperwork. That was OK it was just a meeting not a hearing. Then he told us something that excited us and scared us, if the judge thought things went well, we could take the kids home!

Bruno had said he had gotten a van, but that wasn't the case. I was going to drive his car, and he would drive his daughter's car (she is in London working for the Latvian gov't. Bruno is apparently pretty well connected)
We stopped at a bakery in Bruno's village (cutely named Pinki) to pick up a traditional cake for the meeting. This is tradition, I'd read about it before. A couple of Cokes on top of that for the ride and it was 20E. meh. It's a pretty damn important meeting, expensive cake was the least of my worries.

A drive of about an hour, Bruno in his car leading the way, the rest of the fam with me. Wendy of course, fell asleep. The car was a Toyota Corolla (more or less) and a manual. I haven't driven a manual since we vacationed in Spain in 2003. Needless to say I'm rusty and killed it about 50% of the time if we had to stop

We arrived in Bauska and I told Bruno to wait a moment while we grabbed the gifts for the family. He didn't hlear or didn't understand  and promptly disappeared down one of the driveways. That after stating "Now is the most important time" Nothing like pressure. We weren't sure which driveway for certain. A man stepped out a side door and waived us in.

He was no taller than Wendy, with short white hair and thin white beard. He greeted us warmly and insisted on taking our coats. A very loud, friendly and welcoming woman in a blue apron, proceeded to greet, hug and usher us into her home. These were the kids' foster parents! Certainly these people would be instrumental in whether or not we would be allowed to adopt our Latvian trio. (No pressure) They introduced themselves as Janis (John) and Lilitas (Lily) The quickly learned our names and were VERY interested in our children, especially Jaenelle.

We were introduced to Alekss and Ditte right off. Then we saw a young dark haired woman, smartly dressed in a whithe and black sweater, black skirt and short black boots. This was Inga, the chief of the orphan court. (that's the title Bruno used, I have a hunch she just might be a judge) We were directed into a room with a small sectional couch and desk. Lilitas said that Nauris (the older boy) had walked up to the bus station for her to buy a newspaper. No sooner had she said that, but I saw the boy coming up the drive.

He came in dutifully delivered his package and we were introduced. In 5 minutes we had met our new kids and all the people who could influence how this was going to turn out. We shook hands, in an almost formal greeting. Lilitas is very boisterous and positive, her energy just carried us all along.

The kids had prepared three songs to sing for us. One was supposedly an American song, but we couldn't place it. Little Alekss even had a solo in one song. We were told Nauris and Dite attend an art school and Alekss a music school. It was wonderful to see them. They seemed a little unsure of themselves, right up until we smiled and clapped.

There was some talking and such. I didn't know what to say or do. Lily encouraged our kids to play with their kids. There were some of the big Legos. The kids sort of stared at each other. Soooo. I sat down and started to play with the Legos. Wendy said "and there you go sitting down to play." My response "of course, I don't know how to do anything else."

I took apart something that apparently was a tree, built for us. Nobody said anything, but I build a robot and proceeded to "Grrrr" all the kids. This brought smiles, giggles and broke the ice a bit more. Mission Accomplished (without a banner and an aircraft carrier!)

We had the cake. The kids seemed reluctant to try theirs. We had to just about tell them. Inga and disappeared to talk. Nauris, dutiful as ever, made sure we had spoons to eat the cake with. Yellow sponge cake with a red berry and cream filling. It was good. Jack and Alekss went to town on it. The older children were a bit more calm and refined. :-)

There was more chatting. I busted out the PC that our friend Sean loaned us (thanks Sean) and showed them some pictures of our house in Iowa. Lilitas told us many things. They have 12 children. 6 now adopted to France. 3 more in Latvia now 3 to the US. They currently have 4 more in their small home. 3 older girls and a younger boy. All have serious mental illness she said (she spoke pretty damn good English) They were not up for adoption. She said she had 20 kids but not all had been adopted, clearly they took in the hard cases. Some they just cared for until they didn't need to be anymore. Janis and Lilitas are saints in my book and I don't even believe in saints.

Then Lilitas became quite and asked me "John, do you want to take my children home with you?" I honestly couldn't process it immediately. I could see it wasn't easy for her to ask me that. She loved them. They called her mama. I thought  quickly, I shouldn't agree. I needed to ask permission. My reply was "Will you let us?" That question seemed to allay all of her fears. She smiled and said "I think you will take good care of my children and give them a good home. Yes, you may." With that, it was done. The orphan court representative had apparently already approved. We just needed to agree and get Lilitas' approval.  (By the way, I bawled my eyes out writing the sentences about being asked if we wanted to take the kids, I literally had to stop typing, twice)

Now a flurry of activity. Grabbing coats and bags that were already packed. Heavy with clothes. Lilitas offered us anything in her home for the kids. Anything we wanted. "Tables, chairs. She offered" I just said we needed clothes. THAT they had already in their bags. Lilitas asked for our address, phone and email. She asked if she would be allowed to Skype and write letters. Of course was our reply. She emphatically told us that it was OK once we had the kids that if we didn't want to talk to them or have the kids see them or talk to them ever again. Perish the thought. The woman who gave them their first real home? Took them in when their father had died and mother had mistreated them? To those of you that know me well enough to call me a jerk (or other more colorful terms, which are probably more accurate than jerk) I am not that kind of jerk.

We talked about perhaps coming back to visit in the summer, this or next. She was very happy that we told them that they could continue to have contact with the kids. She told us that Alekss had said to her "You will be my mama in my heart always." I really can't put into words the gift we have been given by this wonderful woman and her husband. I also have to manage the feelings that I took a woman's children from her. That's a hard thing to do.  Even when they are willingly given.

We packed everybody in the cars. Wendy with Bruno and the Latvian trio. Jaenelle and Jack with me, following. A short time in, we had to pull over, I forgot to turn on my lights, as is the law in Latvia (headlights on all the time) A bit after that, we stopped at a gas station. Dite had gotten car sick. We cleaned her up and got her a Sprite in hopes that it might calm her stomach (no ginger ale or anti-metics available) We made it to Riga, but I could tell from close behind Dite was still sick. Wendy had a plastic bag out.

I lost Wendy and Bruno because of my inept skills at driving a manual, but we were close enough I knew where to go. We got the kids and luggage out and Wendy headed into the apartment. I had to head back to Pinki with Bruno to drop off his 2nd car. We returned in about an hour. Bruno let me know that tomorrow, I will head to court in Nareta, two hours away. "It's beautiful" He said. "No kids, no wife, just you" This is the orphan court hearing to gain official preliminary custody of the children. Things move fast.
 
I came in and found the kids playing. We had gotten them all a toy or two. Wendy had already lost to Nauris once in checkers. Alekks loved his transformer (Grimlok the dinobot) Dite was having her hair done by her big sister with the new barrettes and hair ties Jaenelle had picked out.

I sat down and challenged Nauris to a game of chess, on the set we bought for him. I won, be he knows the game, some anyway. He is also a little sneaky, I assume he will be able to beat me in a few years. I didn't go all out, I wanted to see what he knew. I won, but he was certainly up to the challenge of playing his new father.

I found the Nerf balls we brought. This started a rousing game of kick and toss the balls at each other. We cleared the furniture as much as we could and everybody played in earnest. I do have a picture or two of the controlled chaos. It was glorious to see them all play, laugh and interact with each other. All five kids. I had to pause a time or two and just watch.

Then we played some chase and grrr. We talked abit about what to do for dinner. Nauris doesn't understand English well enough to know what we are saying and our translated Latvian he doesn't always understand. We got by with having him read the translations from our phone apps. This worked pretty well.

We went out to dinner to a small local cafe and bar that sold hambugers. Everybody ate something and we got the kids milkshakes. Jaenelle wasn't a big fan of the milkshake as they mixed in bananas.

We stopped off at the supermarket that was close by and bought more kitchen staples and enough for breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow. Pork chops for dinner. Potatoes and green beans.

Ran into some Latvian young women that were speaking English. They were behind me as I was looking for spices. One said "No don't call me a vegan that's about the worst thing could could call me" I turned and grinned and laughed at her comment. I apologized and said "I'm sorry but that was really funny. I didn't expect to come here from the US and hear a Latvian say that." They warmed up to me and asked by I was here. I told them. They were immediately intrigued and amazed we were adopting three. (it is a little crazy I guess)

They saw Wendy and the kids nearby and talked to them. Explained the funny story and marveled at our brood. They said good bye and we finished shopping. It was nice to get a little validation from a group of Latvians. (who by the way were all 20 something and beautiful, I haven't seen a young woman here that was anything short of attractive, then again, I suppose most young women are)

We walked home (the apartment is right near the old city, in the diplomatic quarter, we are next to the Georgian consulate and the Azerbeijan embassy. The French embassy is down the street. The US embassy was next door, but it moved last year, too small)

We played a bit more when we got home. Took a picture of the five. Then got everybody around for bed. I read a curious George story. Lilitas said the kids prayed before meals and at bedtime. While not religious, if this is their tradition they are welcome to continue. We encouraged them to pray, but they seemed reluctant. We didn't push it. They will or they won't. I did confirm that they were raised eastern orthodox.

We got the kids toothbrushes (they didn't have any with them) Jaenelle showed them what to do. Our little mamasita. Dite and she have already bonded. Alekss and Jack are pals. Alekss wouldn't hold my hand when we walked, but he would readily hold  "Mamas." Nauris quietly watches and helps with his younger siblings. He can tell when we begin to disapprove if somebody gets a bit wound up or runs ahead or something.

I read a Curious George story for Jack's reading level. We tucked everybody in and gave hugs and kisses. The little ones didn't hug or kiss me (John) but they happily accepted them. We we left his parents' house, Nauris had been reluctant to hug me. This evening, I got a big one. I knew once we had Jack I'd get to teach a boy how to become a man. I get to do it five years early now. :-)

I sat across from Wendy in the living room. Me on an overstuffed, mud brown, somewhat beat up, pleather chair. Her on the corresponding small couch. I said "They once were a hope. Then they became a dream. Then a picture and promise. Now they are reality, they are mine. (ours) Mine to protect, teach, care for and love." I couldn't be happier.

I do wish my mother and brother were around to meet them and get to know them. They'd love them, I know it. I just have to teach them about the uncle and grandmother they won't get to know. Perhaps that will help heal the wounds a bit more. Either way, not even those somber thoughts can spoil my mood. Today was the most amazing thing in my entire life. I said to Wendy at dinner "You know you said to me I fell in love with my children the moment I saw them" She said "Yes?" I went on to say "Well I did it three times today."
Perhaps that's why it's almost too much to bear why it's so impossible to adequately describe.

Well goodnight. This is terribly long. I not only wanted to share this, but to record my thought and feelings. This is important. Tomorrow is another day. We jumped out of an airplane today. Tomorrow, we get to do it again. :-)