Day Four

At some point I'll get bored with or won't think it's necessary to write anymore. Not yet though! Probably long after you all get bored with reading it. :-)

Nothing too exciting today. No trips or court, just the family at home. We did go out for some play time at a local park. We weren't out long, it was only a few degrees above freezing. Little ones played on the equipment and swings. Older kids played with a frisbee and threw the Nerf balls at each other, and me.

While tackling Nauris, I accidentally popped him in the mouth. He was a little surprised I could see. I apologized immediately of course. It looked like his eyes got a bit wet, but he shook it off and said he was OK. He took it out on me later, mercilessly thumping me with the balls and holding me a time or two to let his sisters get in open shots. It was a good time.

Nauris and Janelle have really bonded. They are constantly teasing each other. A poke here, rabbit ears whatever. It's like they have been siblings for years, not 4 days. He tends to get the best of her and a couple of times I've had to get him to ease off, though she's annoyed him too, so they each give as good as they get.

Dite has opened up a bit more to me. When we've played she's gone out of her way to play with me. Whether it was a tickle or pillow fight or with drawing or whatever, she has sought my interest and approval. Her dossier from the Latvian gov't described her time as tougher. She's got more residual issues I think than her older brother. It's important to bond with her. The only father they have known was Janis, their foster father. I am positive he's done a good job and it shows. They didn't have a father for the first years of their lives, so they may still not be fully accustomed to having an active father figure.

Everything I've read about parenting screams about the importance of fathers. Mothers are critical of course, you will never convince me they aren't more important than bums like me, but having an strong and interested father makes a huge difference in children's lives, especially girls. Girl with limited examples and challenges because of her past? I'll have to be careful not to smother her. Something about her, and all the kids really, but especially her kicks off my protective instincts. In that, bat-poop crazy sort of way.

Nauris really has a really strong, quiet character. He talks enough, but at 10 this boy is already that strong silent type. He is a boy about 90% of the time. When it's time to go to bed, if we are out walking with the little ones, if there are chores to be done, the 10% that is a man comes out. Wendy talks about being proud of him already when she sees that. I agree entirely, he's a very interesting very bright young man. This may seem archaic, but I am certain he will do a fine job of taking the family name and living up to what we believe it to mean. Frankly, he will probably do a better job than my siblings and I will have ever done. (Well maybe not Nathan, I think he did a fine job)

Dite is a little parrot. She and Jaenelle are constantly jabbering to each other. I think Dite is learning English with all of this parroting and jabber. When we set the table, I laid out the glasses for the kids' milk. Wendy and I had a bit of a bottle of wine left over. I put those down and Dite decided I would sit at one end of the table and Wendy would sit next to me. She put the glasses down and said "Mommy and Daddy." The first time she's called me that in English. She's used the Latvian terms Tevs (Father) and Tetis (addy) but not that in English. It seems trivial, but it means something to me.

Alekss is a rambunctious five year old. He likes to play and rough-house. He does sit nicely and color and read though. He needs a little work on table manners, but he eats up pretty readily. He wanted to refuse to take broccoli tonight at dinner. One word from me and that was it, he took it and didn't grouch once about eating it. Mama Lilita and Papa Janis did a good job. When we met the children we gave them a little present of chocolate coins from Chocalaterie Stam in Des Moines. We told them that we had three rules for sweets. You had to be good and not misbehave. You had to ask for them, you couldn't just take them. You had to eat your meals, especially your vegetables. Janis and Lilita said they had the same rules. So I wasn't surprised when Alekss gave in so quickly. More that we owe Janis and Lilita.

Alekss did show some petulance today. I don't know if he felt left out or what, but he took three chess pieces from the game that Wendy and Jack were playing and wouldn't give them back. He defied Wendy and ran and hid under the bed. Nauris and Dite leapt into action (they really are great) but he ignored them. He came out when Wendy stood at the foot of the bed. He gave up the pieces and she went back to the game. I told him to come with me. He refused. ,I picked him up, he whacked me on the nose. (not very hard) and leaned back to escape. Pretty standard kid stuff. I told him no and sat him in a chair near me and told him to stay. He knew the drill (thank you again to Janis and Lilita)He was a bit sullen with his punishment. A "time in" (near you rather than removed from you) is what the books on adoptive kids tell you to do. Exile seems like rejection and that's a bad thing for adoptive kids. It worked. He clearly understood what he was in trouble for. 2 min later I told him he could get out.

After we had played at the park, Wendy ran to get milk and juice. We knock off more than a half a gallon a day and you can only get 2 liter jugs here and we go through milk like there weren't any cows left.

I was home alone with the kids then for a good hour. Unsurprisingly, we played wrestle and tickle. I was a bit concerned to play this way with Nauris and Dite considering their past. Some kids don't want to be touched. I had figured out they were open to it though. This game was war on daddy. They all attacked me at first and to be quite frank, I got my butt kicked. Nauris and Jaenelle are strong enough to push me around when working together and Dite and Jack are sneaky and small and do things like, take my shoes off and tickle my feet. (Jaenelle gave them the idea though) Alekss doesn't tickle, he punches, kicks and jumps on you. I discouraged the first two, the last  was fine. He learned he could smack me with a pillow and that was fine. So our bedroom became a battleground. Eventually we would pick on different people. Nauris and Jaenelle antagonized each other and the four others piled on Nauris at one point. It was the most fun I've had in a very long time. Of course a couple kids got biffed, but nothing serious and it only ended when I'd had enough of getting smashed. (amazingly enough I didn't biff any kids, they did it to each other)

Breakfast today was less than good. Wendy tried to make her famous pancakes and didn't adjust the recipe. She typically uses banking powder. We only had banking soda. 1 tablespoon of banking soda is basically all salt. So they were VERY salty. Inedible. She felt bad. That's OK, we can show them how good they are in the US. She also made up for it with dinner. Sauteed chicken breasts, broccoli and rice with a tastey pan gravy. It was very good and the kids ate it readily.

We asked Dite and Nauris if they had books. They each had one. Dite has a short kid's novel, Nauris a science experiment book. That's it. I told them it was important to read every night. We have read to Jack and Alekss every night but the first. I told the kids we would get them books, in Latvian and English.

I talked to them a bit about Wisconsin and showed them where it was on a map. I showed them the pictures of my father's summer home. Wendy had shown them before, but I wanted to show them again. They recognized a billiards table, which was interesting. I asked them if they had been on a boat. They said yes, both big and small, a sailboat too. That is very interesting. Dad, you wanted to know if they might like Wisconsin, we think they will love it! They don't seem to be afraid of anything so hiking, boating, tubing are all in our future.

The kids really are bonding with each other. Jack a bit less so, but he does play with Alekss and shows affection for the older kids and they show it back. It's just some language barrier and age difference. It will work out. It will be better as we can communicate more.

Alekss is resistant to learning English. He's not really receptive to formal teaching. We will see how it turns out. I am not sure he entirely understands that we don't understand him. He jabbers at us in Latvian and expects an answer. It will work out. He is absorbing some we can see. He tosses in a word or two now and again. The intensive environment in the US will probably make a big difference. We aren't going to push it. We will keep prodding and teaching and he will come along.

I think that's it. Tomorrow is the theatre and perhaps a trip to a bookstore if it's open. If not, bookstore, toystore and a store with housewares is in order on Monday. They need more to do around the house and we need a decent knife.

TTFN!