We are here! Flights were easy. Des Moines to Chicago was a breeze as usual. Food on the flight to Frankfurt was surprisingly good. Vegetarian Ravioli was better than the chicken. Was nice they has little TV's with programs or games you could watch on the back of every seat.

Kids slept some on the flight as did Wendy. I did not. We were loosing several hours so trying to fall asleep at 6 PM Iowa time was impossible for this night owl.

We got to Frankfurt just after 5 AM local time. We had to circle a bit or we would have arrived before anything opened, wouldn't have had security, customs or a a ground crew. Worked out fine. Frankfurt airport is huge and very, very nice. Got some excellent coffee and some pastries from some very nice and English speaking staff at a cafe/kiosk. The gentleman teased Jack and offered him a double expresso. (German girls are beautiful BTW)

If we had shopped in the duty free store there we could have won a fancy Jaguar car. We didn't shop. We had enough to carry,

We are very proud of the kids. We had alot of luggage (one checked and one carry on for each of us) They weren't packed full so we have room for the new three's clothes and things when we come back. Jack and Jaenelle were real troopers. Little complaining, on very little sleep and a whole lot of helping and trying. i had a death grip on my carry on. Our electronics, all the important papers oh and $3500 in cash because we had to put down 2200 Euros (about $2600 US) for the Apt for the month. Will only get $200 back as a deposit.

Apt is small and OK. Reinforces to me how fortunate we are to live in the US and have what we do. So much of what Americans think of as essential is useless luxury. Then again, we are so wealthy, we should do more to make sure others have what we do.

I'll load pictures of the apt later.

WE MEET THE KIDS TODAY (on day two every thing above was day one)

Probably won't be going to the orphan court to get guardianship but that could happen in a day or two. Wendy is nervous and had a hard time sleeping. We played cards until midnight to help ease her mind. Kids had to be woken up from naps to eat dinner (Spanish Tortilla) and then went right back to bed.

Not sure why she was nervous. Wendy may marvel at me being such a driving force on things, but she is amazing frankly. Everything works because she makes it work. I couldn't do everything with travel plans, money, legal paperwork etc if she didn't do what she does. Behind every good man is a better woman, I firmly believe that. This experience proves that in spades. My wife is wonderful, and we are very lucky to have her.

It's go time! More later. If any of you feel kinda sick not knowing what is going to happen today after reading this, well think how we feel. Hur hur hur.

NEW PICTURE!!!!

The foster mother had a new picture taken and sent to us. Nice to get this just before we leave.

More updates to come as we get them!

7 days and counting!

It's late but my mind is racing so I'll write a bit.

We leave on 02/29 for Lativa. It's really happening! Nauris (10) Dite (9) and Alekss (5) will join our family in as little as 8 or 9 days. They won't be just ideas. They won't be just an entry on a website. They won't be just pictures. They will be people, children, that become our responsibility to love and care for.

It honestly seems entirely surreal. We will go from parents of 2 to parents of 5? How the hell does that happen? Yes, yes I know what we've done to make this happen, it just doesn't seem possible. It's feels like we are doing something insane. Like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. It's a crazy thing to do. We are doing it though and happy to be. I asked Wendy this morning  but I provided the answers. "Are we ready? No. Are we going to be? No. Are we doing it anyway? Hell yes!"

I'm  feeling melancholy about it. I feel bad for them. We've had so much good fortune, even with some of the terrible things that have happened in the last few years. The pressure to be a perfect parent is crushing. I'm not getting cold feet, but perhaps the enormity of it all is really settling in. 

How am I supposed to love these strangers? Children I don't know? I just answered my own question though. Well first, get to know them stupid. **smack** That seems like a reasonable starting point.

I was dumbstruck tonight by one question. How do I introduce myself? "Hi! I'm your new Dad!"
That seems a little trite. "Kids, I am your father" (mechanical breathing) That seems creepy and prone to having them scream "Noooo that's impossible" and dropping down the nearest bottomless shaft.
Wendy suggested "I am very happy to meet you." A wise choice of words from an increasingly wise woman. Perhaps I'm just noticing it. My only concern with that is, it seems rather formal and somewhat inadequate. I pride myself on always knowing what to say, always. Teaching, training, parenting, arguing, drinking I know what to say. (usually I can't shuttup) This though. I've got no idea what to say. (let alone how to say it) "Hello, we are a family who got the wild idea to adopt a handful more of kids for reasons we can't really explain and guess what you're it?" Not only is that long it's just not what we should say.

I can't imagine how excited, scared and generally freaked out they are either. It will work out, of that I am confident. Nothing to do but get stuck in and ride the waves. Perhaps I'll know what to say and do when I meet them. I hope so.


I'll be writing more as we leave and are in Latvia.

One follower on this blog. I get the feeling I'm writing for myself. Then again, that's really the point of this isn't it?

So, what's new. We have decided on a group of kids. I can't post pictures yet because it's not official. Skinny is, group of 3 siblings. 10,9 and 4. Our request was for children age 5-12 and so we have to wait until the 4 year old is 5. That's in 11 days. THEN we get more information. Names, where in Latvia they live etc and we can make travel arrangements.

To be frank, I'm a bit freaked out right now. The amount of work and such is daunting. Nothing to do but roll up our sleeves and dive in. Not doing the work sure as hell isn't going to get it done now is it?
I've never really been one to say I'm afraid of anything. I'm afraid now though. I'm afraid I'll somehow fail these kids. That would be a tragedy bigger than anything they've experienced thus far. I guess it's no different than the fear you feel when becoming a parent the first time or even consecutive times. It is a duty that you cannot afford to fail at. This is magnified of course with three kids, rough backgrounds and all the extra challenges of language, food and all the differences between how our family works and what they have been used to in their foster family. I guess that's courage right. "the ability to do something that frightens one." So, yeah, I'm frightened. We are going to do this though. I honestly liken it to how I think I would feel if I was skydiving. (which I would never do BTW) Nothing to do for it but check everything twice and jump. Go big or go home.

In a meeting this morning  as I updated her on things my boss said "You do realize we all think you are crazy right?" Yeah, I know. I think I'm crazy too. Now who does this surprise? Not the adoption, that I'm crazy. Told my dad yesterday of the specifics. He knew in theory, he'd missed my voicemail telling him we had decided. He thinks I'm crazy too. He probably already thought that.

The kids have a a tough past. Mother in prison for what she did and didn't do. One father dead the other unknown. Whatever. I don't care. Oh, knowing that these kids, any kids really, were hurt or neglected makes me really... stabby. I can't imagine neglecting or hurting children in a meaningful way. It's entirely alien to me. (Let's face it every parent has unintentionally hurt their kids if by no other way stepping on them when they are underfoot. Likewise you neglect to do something or other and it turns out badly, that's not what I'm talking about)

I don't care what their past is. It matters to me and whatever support or help or therapy they need, I'll make certain they receive. Our hope is that much of what ails them will be remedied by the love, care, attention and structure we provide. I don't think that will cut it though. I see therapy bills in our future. But I don't care.

I wish I could really describe it. What's the feeling of happy, excited, scared, sad and angry all at the same time? It's technically ambivalent I guess. Most people use that when they don't have strong feelings one way or the other. That's not really the case here. I have very strong feelings currently, just all at the same time or so quickly changing it is more or less that way.

Enough wandering though my emotional and cognitive minefields.

So we will travel sometime in February in all likelihood. Out of town for a month or so. Then back to the USA will all five kids in tow. Because they won't be our kids yet, but we will be their guardians, they can't enroll in school (due to visa restrictions) A few months later back to Latvia for the three new kids and Wendy and I for the last legal stuff and the embassy work. Then we come home and they will be ours forever and are citizens.

That day cannot come soon enough.

It's been a long time since I wrote anything.

Lots has gone on.

The paperwork is done and submitted. Proud and relieved Wendy in October. Thought it was fitting we sent the paperwork off on our Anniversary (16 years... eek!)

So we moved into a new house on December 18th.

It's big beautiful and is a big change for us. On the far opposite side of town from where I grew up and where we have lived for 20 years. We will adapt.

Paperwork progressed slowly, in large part because we just weren't as on top of it as we could be, but in part over concerns with my mother and some with extra travel with my job. Her health was poor. She passed away November 22nd. It was hard. We saw the first kids up for potential adoption the Friday before she died. I got the email in the parking lot of the hotel. The kids looked so perfect for our family. It brought me to tears. Then we found out those kids really weren't available because they were working with a host family already. That brought me to tears again. It's happened twice more that kids we express interest in are not actually available. That's frustrating, but if it means children that need parents are getting parents? I'm good with that. Our time will come. It's just a matter of persistence and perseverance. That we have in spades. 

Mom's funeral was tough. My brother, Pat and I sang at the service. We were joined by his daughter, Samantha, for one song. She sings very nicely. I am out of practice as part of a group. I need to let them tune and should work on my harmony. Too long singing lead.

We have new information on new groups of kids. We have expressed interest in three different groups. We will see what we hear from the Latvian Ministry of Welfare. 

Sorry the blog is wandering, but IT'S A BLOG. Hur hur hur.

Lesse... we got a new dog. He is GIANT! His name is Duke. A purebred Newfoundland. He's a bit of a turd. Kind of a bully. Not mean, he just kinda does what he wants. He looks like a bear. 

Here is a picture.

He really is a nice dog, he just has bad manners. We are looking to join an obedience training course.

We have decided to take Jack and Jaenelle to Latvia with us. Lots of reasons. I won't go into them, they aren't all positive and I don't air my dirty laundry. We think that our two existing kids will probably help with new children more than they will complicate things. It will cost more, but money is just money. I'm a firm believer that money is the least valuable thing in the whole world. Well, OK, perhaps conservative political propagandists and the ideas of people that believe them. Those have negative value, money has more value than that, but not much above zero. It's just a tool and if you are willing to work or sacrifice, the money you need will come along. What you WANT? Well, I can't help with that.

So we are in a holding pattern, We will let you all know when we know more. 

Post Three

Had to follow up to the last one. Since I'm writing this, I say "I" quite often. I should probably use "WE" for the family more. Though many of the thoughts are mine, they are at least some of the thoughts and feelings of the whole family.

I might mix and match I and we. My English teachers would hang their heads in shame. Yes, I know the rules. It's a blog. We will get over it. :-)

Post two
Could be moving more quickly. Kinda lazy on ppwk, frankly, how much fin is that?

Minor delays and I've been dragging my feet to make sure this doesn't come together too quickly and the house isn't ready or something problematic like that.

I800-A is ready to send off to USCIS (Immigration more or less) Feds give the approval to adopt. In a couple of months we will have it back and we can send the dossier to the Latvian Gov't. By then the goal is to do a quick update to the I800-A and move (or just move and update it after we send the dossier over)

Then the wait for the match comes. I did talk with Victoria from About a Child. The possibility that we would be matched quickly is VERY real. Being willing to accept older and a larger sibling group makes us in demand, as it were. So perhaps by the end of the year we will be traveling to Latvia.

Possible wait of MONTHS in-between the first trip and the 2nd for the court date is also very real. Which stinks. Nothing can be easy. Suppose nothing worthwhile ever is.

I stories in the news of kids neglected and abused. It kills me. Just about overwhelmed with a mixture of sadness and rage. I try and not read them anymore.  Our change in family and such seems to make me more sensitive to such things.

So with the paperwork about finished up it is about to get very real in a hurry. Scary as hell. 4 or 5 kids? What if we find a group of 4 kids? Our homestudy isn't approved for that many, so neither will the I800-A. Right group though? Hell yeah. Update the homestudy and I800-A (What's money when its this important?) and dive in, head first.

I really am a lucky man. My wife is wonderful (My wonderful wife Wendy, hur hur hur) Works tirelessly on making sure the home runs like a well oiled machine. Of course its a bumpy ride. Kid s throw fits, stuff breaks, gets dirty etc. That's just life. It always works out.

Kids are amazing. Bright, well-mannered, fun, inquisitive, increasingly independent. Just they way they should be.

Why would we want to upset this perfect little apple cart? Simple, it's because our family does function so well that we want to. There is certainly more love, time and money in our lives. It's all a matter of priorities. Make the time, make whatever we need to have happen, happen.


Sorry post two here is a rambling stream of consciousness. Sue me. :-)