It feels like home

Long time no write. Sorry. Been busy and tired and happy and frustrated and tired.

Got home on Thursday the 31st after 25hours. Flights were long. 25 hours travel time. Flight into O'hare was rough. Lots of weather below so lots of turbulance below. Rough enough Jaenelle was sick. Had challenges with our flight seating as well. Travel agent couldn't get our seats booked and the gate agent in Riga booked us all over the flight. She apologized but she couldn't get us together.

Got to Frankfurt. Went to the Lufthansa desk. They had to work to fix it. They got Aleks and I together and Wendy and the other 4 kids. Worked out well. Aleks was very well behaved and even slept a couple of hours on the flight. Thank goodness for TV's in the back of every seat. Aleks did struggle with not kicking the person in front of him. Woman complained once and I was more emphatic. I talked with her a bit and explained I was having some challenges with him because he didn't speak English. Woman was German and had adopted one of her children as well. She was very nice and friendly and didn't complain again, even when Aleks forgot. (he wasn't kicking hard, but his toes were just at the right spot if he stretched his legs out)

Customs and immigration were a breeze. Aleks was bored and I had to use the "Voice of God" to get him to behave. We understood though. He was bored and full of energy and all he wanted to do was run and play and he could do neither.

Got to Des Moines without trouble. Kids (except Nauris and Jaenelle) got some more sleep. Into Des Moines only to have three of our bags not make it on the flight (they only had 3 hours, apparently not enough time for United and the O'hare ground crew) but the bags were on a flight only 15 minutes behind ours. We waited and all was well. I pulled the van closer to the baggage claim and started loading the other bags while we waited. (Thanks Roger and Chantel for staging the van for us) Bags arrived. Jack and Aleks were asleep on the chairs in the waiting area of the baggage claim. We couldn't rouse them. Dite was visibly tired. Nauris and Jaenelle were, chipper? (How does that happen?)

Carried the little boys to the car. Jack did wake up and walk the last 50 feet. Got the rest of bags into the back of the van (barely, blocked my view a bit) and off we went home.
20 minutes later we pulled into our cul-de-sac. We found our wonderful neighbors had posted a welcome home sign on the garage. WELCOME HOME! (there was even a message written in Latvian)

Everybody piled out of the van and we let the kids meet our boxer, Chance. Chance was out of his mind to see us after a month and the younger kids were a bit scared. For about 30 seconds, until they realized he was ridiculously friendly. There was no fear from him of new kids, indeed he was even happier to have new littermates. (all kids are puppies to dogs)

We showed the kids the house. Jack and Jaenelle could barely be restrained. They were so excited to show their siblings the rooms they would share. The Latvian trio was excited but a little overwhelmed by the size of the house and how much stuff we have. They got over it in about 15 minutes.

We unpacked the suitcases. As tired as we were, I was not going to leave that until later and work through them just to find pajamas for the kids. They were up and energetic for the time being and we put that to work. Wendy unpacked and made piles of clothes for each child to put away. Some went to the laundry (she stopped doing laundry Tuesday before we came home so some came home dirty) All the kids tired out fast. I oversaw the efforts, kept the moving and sorted the mail, and checked over the house.

Everybody went to be promptly. One interesting thing, when Nauris went into his room after getting on his cool Spider Man PJ's he flopped onto his bed and said (in English) "My bed! My room!" This boy was excited and happy to have his own room and a big double bed to himself. We are glad to provide it.


Friday. We got up late 8 am or so. Breakfast of cold cereal (thanks Sean for making sure we had milk and juice. We go through nearly a gallon of milk every day) Started cleaning the house. Sean did a great job taking over house sitting, but its a big house and he didn't know all the nooks and crannies that get dirty here. Sorted out anything leftover in the fridge. Made a grocery list. Wendy went grocery shopping. Was a pretty nice day outside so the kids were eager to go out and play. First order of business, BIKES! I found the bike pump, pumped up the tired on Dite and Jaenelle's bike and the kids were off. Realized Jaenelle's bike needed the seat raised. Fixed that and Nauris was off on Jaenelle's bike! Jaenelle, true to form of her generous and giving self was happy to share. Nauris proceeded to crash into the curb when he tried to stop and pedal backwards. Problem: It's a freewheeling 7 speed.

No damage to Nauris or the bike. Jaenelle was on her scooter and coasted over to Nauris and showed him how to use the hand brakes. A new experience for him. Got out the Glide Bike for Aleks. He took to it right off. 20 feet and he kept his balance like he knew how to ride a bike, though his siblings told us he did not have one in Bauska. He would push himself along on his feet and bring his feet up on the pegs and coast along like a pro. He did try Jack's little regular bike, but he couldn't work out pedaling and balancing. After witnessing all that, THEN Wendy went shopping. (first grocery bill was $200 YIKES! Then again, there was beer and some other things we don't always buy)

Wendy went to work to sign the kids up for health benefits and check in. I put the kids to work. House needed cleaning. So everybody got chores. Windows, toilets, dusting, sweeping, mirrors.
Dite complained a bit. I asked her (using a translation app) "This is a lot of work. Is it fair to leave it all for mom to do?" "She smiled and rolled her eyes. "No" was her reply. She didn't complain anymore after that. I asked Nauris earlier if they had chores back in Bauska. "Yes" was the reply. The intonation made me think that perhaps they did a good deal of chores.

Rest of the day was play outside or inside. The neighborhood kids did come out as did the parents to meet the new kids and talk to Jaenelle and Jack. In no time at all the cul-de-sac was full of kids.
Pastor John came out and played some basketball with the kids. It was a good day. (there are three John's in the cul-de-sac, so we have Pastor John, Hawkeye John M<that's not me> and me, John 3.0)


Saturday. Up. Wendy made pancakes. Proper ingredients and kitchen yielded much better results. Introduced the kids to real maple syrup that we bring back from Wisconsin every year. It was a big hit. Nauris agrees with me, the real thing is much better than the "Hungry Jack" maple flavored syrup (which I find inedible)

We had more cleaning to do. Sent Jaenelle, Wendy and Nauris outside to do the most dreaded of all chores. Pick up dog poop. Jaenelle had earned that chore permanently as a deal to get out of a punishment and go to a birthday party two years ago. Nauris got the chore simply by being the eldest, being the eldest means you get the crappiest chores. Wendy well, my back was bothering me.
I was not popular with my two eldest children. (Wendy didn't mind she merely had to help set them up and show Nauris what to do) Oops. I was parenting again.

Chores done (well Wendy started on laundry again) and it was time to play aaaand all hell broke loose. Was this a problem? No... by 10 am or so the neighborhood kids were at our door. "Can Jaenelle play? Can Jack play. Can "They" play?" SURE!  Outside with bikes. In the house with hide and seek (and general thundering around the house)  in the backyard with tag and soccer.

Lunch. More kids came over. By mid-afternoon there were 12 kids in and around our house, no kidding I counted. I saw 7 in our family room. I knew a few were upstairs, a few more outside. I was helping get dinner started. I stopped and caught myself. A feeling washed over me. Strong, warm, deep. This was why we had done this. This right here. Our house was full of children, of happiness, of life. I could feel the house, like it was alive. The house had been too large for the four of us. It seemed empty before. I could feel the house radiating this feeling of joy and life back out at us and into me. I called Wendy over into the kitchen. She approached and asked "What?" I turned her around and said "Look." She looked back into the family room at all the kids playing. She looked back at me and smiled. She turned back to me, embraced me and gave me a kiss. She held me close. I couldn't contain myself any longer. I cried. Wendy sensed something was wrong, asked me what it was. She asked me if those were happy tears. They were. Very happy tears. I just cried for a few minutes (I may here for a few minutes too) It was great. The most wonderful picture the most wonderful experience. I can't even really describe it fully. Some odd combination of happiness, satisfaction, contentment and pride. It was like gotcha day or the birth of my children all over again, but different. This was the point (or at least one of them) of this journey, this quest that we began almost two years ago. I don't know about god or faith or anything like that, but at that moment, heaven was in my house and I could reach out and touch it. That's a pretty good feeling.

We have made enchiladas and chicken etouffee for dinner to help expand their food horizons. Each was well received, though Aleks insisted on eating the etouffee separately from his rice. He has a thing about sauce. He didn't like the enchiladas the second time as leftovers. They tasted fine. It was a control issue. He just didn't want to eat. Guess how far that got him. Right, exactly nowhere. Eat or go to bed, right now. He ate. If it was something he might not like, we would be, and have been more understanding. Chicken and cheese? Yeah, not buying that. Tears didn't work either. Mr. Aleks is learning very quickly that mom and dad are paying attention. We expect good behavior, from table manners, hygiene, sportsmanship, helping around the house, cleaning up his toys and room, eating what is placed in front of him. We have high expectations. We do compromise and over look some things. We aren't tyrants. We don't compromise much and somethings will not fly. It's not just me being an Ogre either (though I am tremendously good at it) Wendy is a strong woman that only fools and strangers cross. (and her husband, but that costs me in the end, most of the time)

Sunday was a repeat of Saturday. Meals and playing and chores. Typical kid issues. Somebody doesn't play nice or won't share or is whatever.

We have made great headway on Aleks' bathroom issues. Two things. He LOVES his bike. So when he was lying about needing to do #2 and poorly wiping himself on Friday and Saturday. Not being able to go outside and play hit hard. Next idea was to simply make him sit on the toilet after every meal and go. Whether or not he said he had to. Virtually, every time, he did need to go and did so. Bike privileges returned. Dirty pants problem on it's way to being resolved. We haven't been perfect, but it's much better than it was. It had gotten to the point he was simply trying not to go at all and then leaking. Not pretty. Fixed that with the carrot and the stick (not literally of course, you never feed children carrots) Lot's of praise of course for telling us and having clean pants. In fact, when I come home at lunchtime to swap out the work day with Wendy (more on that in another post) I am told, by Aleks, each day if he has had clean pants and is he gets to ride his bike. (He hasn't lost his privileges yet this week)

Sunday night was interesting. Jaenelle was not very nice to some of the neighbors and her brother Aleks. She attempted to parent Aleks when he misbehaved when they were outside and we were 30 feet away inside. She didn't tell us what happened. She simply told him he couldn't play and sent him in. That she is not allowed to do. That got a strong scolding from me and two days of grounding.

After dinner, Dite brought a game up to her room. (Hungry Hungry Hippos) Aleks saw this and wanted to play. He doesn't always play nice. Rather than explain to him and work with him, she just excluded him. I heard this happen in her room, I was in the study just on the other side of the wall from her room. That would not do.

I asked what happened. I explained to Dite we cannot just exclude Aleks, even when he was being frustrating. He is just little boy and he did not understand. Dite was upset wanted to argue. She got nowhere. I directed her to put the game away and go to bed. She was REALLY upset then.

Aleks was sent to bed for being difficult as well.

Dite stormed about, PJ's, bathroom bed. I heard something I hadn't heard before. I heard her cry. I had seen tears but never heard sobs. I did that time. I went into her room, I quietly asked her if she had brushed her teeth. (I knew she hadn't) Ignored me. I told her to go brush her teeth. Ignored me. Very quietly I counted. 1, 2. She was moving. Good for her, she was about to get the voice of God.  She brushed her teeth.Stormed back to her room. More crying.

 Wendy went in to console her. This didn't sit well with me. She was in trouble and needed to work it out, as far as I was concerned. Wendy had also gone to talk to Jaenelle about being in trouble earlier. That also did not sit well with me. If my kids have a problem with me, they need to talk to me, not Wendy.  Period. They can talk to their mother about how to approach me if they want advice, but the discussion is with me. (or us) Not just her. No talking about me behind my back. Not about problems with me. I can't fix, acknowledge or reconsider what I don't know about. I explained this to both Wendy and Jaenelle and it wasn't negotiable. They each agreed they needed to come to me. Damnit, I'm plenty grouchy upon occasion but I'm not a monster. Wendy and I had a pretty good talk about it. She agreed to direct the kids to talk to me if they had a problem.

So at one point, three of my kids and my wife were unhappy with me. It meant I was succeeding as a father and husband as far as I was concerned. :-) By morning, only Dite was still mad at me. By the time I got home from work at noon, we all were good.

Enough for now. That was the weekend. I will start on the workweek tomorrow.